Today, Last Year…

…a question was asked and the answer changed two lives forever.

This was the question…






…and the answer made at least two people very happy…



…and it’s just so wrong that, this year, he’s not even around.

I said the other day that I was positive that the first six months held the steepest learning curve. I neglected to realise that, for me because of the unusual nature of my situation, the rest of the year is chock-a-block full of anniversary-type dates. Memories that first occurred a year ago: engagement, never-to-be-repeated truck trips across the Nullarbor, wedding planning, house renovations…

The remainder of this year will be a constant barrage of “this time last year…”–most of which won’t make it to my blog but will, nonetheless, be staring me in the face on a regular basis. This realisation, to be honest, made me feel like quitting then and there. I hope to God that I’m out of our house before the months come that I essentially lived at my in-laws while we renovated “our new home”. I’m not sure that I could cope looking around my home for months on end remembering that we were doing all of this lovely work last year, together and so very excited.

From engagement to the time of Steve’s death, our time together was a constant crescendo from trying to catch up in person 1-2 times a month to where I was mostly down here doing the occasional trip back to Adelaide to where we were married and always together. They were the happiest days of my life and while I know that life isn’t fair and there are bigger problems than me in the world, tonight all I can say is…

IT’S NOT FAIR.

Advertisements

11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Felicity
    Aug 30, 2008 @ 21:41:00

    I still can’t believe he has gone Kristy, it hit me again tonight before I even read your blog…his marriage proposal was so awesome! xxxx

    Reply

  2. Anonymous
    Aug 30, 2008 @ 22:13:00

    We are so happy to have you and your mother drop in Sunday!!!!! Have been thinking of you, and now I know maybe another reason why… Hang in there, GIRLFRIEND!I liked seeing your happy photos all over again. Thanks for sharing. We love and miss you.ANytime, absolutely anytime…Paula & clan

    Reply

  3. Laura :)
    Aug 31, 2008 @ 00:20:00

    You’re right, it’s not fair. And remember….the world has problems but your’s matter too!!! What you are going through must be incredibly difficult. I’m praying for you.Laura 🙂

    Reply

  4. sister sheri
    Aug 31, 2008 @ 00:50:00

    I’ve stopped by via Becoming Me. I am so sorry about your tragedy. Please know that I am praying for you. No wise words from me. Just prayers that you will be able to get through one day at a time… one hour at a time…

    Reply

  5. Anonymous
    Aug 31, 2008 @ 09:07:00

    Oh Kristy! I am crying with you.Hang in there you are braver than you know.JJ

    Reply

  6. Robyn
    Aug 31, 2008 @ 15:43:00

    No, definitely not fair. I’m sorry Kristy. I wish it were different. That is a cool proposal, I wondered when I saw the photos before (not sure when you’d posted them) how he managed to get the question to light up? Sparklers? At some point when/if you feel up to it, would you mind sharing the story of your proposal?

    Reply

  7. Karen
    Aug 31, 2008 @ 18:31:00

    I agree with you that it’s not fair! Don’t like to say that usually as I don’t want to drag you down, and we care about you so much. Such a pity we didn’t get to know Steve better. Praying for you!

    Reply

  8. Mandy
    Sep 01, 2008 @ 17:13:00

    it certainly isn’t. 😦

    Reply

  9. Jana
    Sep 01, 2008 @ 23:41:00

    I’ve been reading your blog periodically, after recommendation from a mutual friend (Natalie), and can’t even begin to imagine your pain and struggles. Your steadfast hope in Christ, though, is evident in every word you write. Keep trusting the One who holds this world…..

    Reply

  10. Jessica in NY
    Sep 04, 2008 @ 13:24:00

    Hi Kristy,As per usual . . . my heart hurt terribly for you while reading your words. I am so sorry – I can’t tell you how sorry I am for you. As I pray for strength and graces to be bestowed on you, I know that your husband is praying for you, too. Jesus loves you and is with you always. He has given you an unfathomable cross to bear, and so He will help you to bear it. ONLY HE KNOWS WHY.God bless you. Our Lord is watching over you.

    Reply

  11. Lisa writes...
    Sep 11, 2008 @ 00:48:00

    It’s not fair.Still praying…

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: