Don’t Tell Me Not To Be Angry…

…that somebody who loved me like this is gone.

These are the wedding-related texts that I had left in my phone when Steve died and that I have saved to permanently keep. He wrote me two particularly beautiful can’t-wait-to-marry-you e-mails as well. I wish I could blog the speech he wrote and gave at the wedding reception. We kept it and I’m pretty sure I know where to find it but that box is in the middle of a chock-a-block storage shed.

Dec 18, 2007
Good morning my beautiful
one, hope you slept well.
Guess what? 25 days to go. I
cant wait, i love you. You
mean so much to me. You are
v special. Tttyl. Steve

Jan 11, 2008
Good morning my
sweetheart, my beautiful one,
the most amazing girl on
earth, the one i love, the one
i’m marrying tomorrow. hope
you slept well. C u soon. Steve

Jan 12, 2008
Good morning my bride. I
love you. You are so beautiful.
Can’t wait to see you coming
down that aisle. C you soon.
Your groom.

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13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Robyn
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 14:12:00

    I’m praying for you especially hard today.

    Reply

  2. Kath
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 15:02:00

    Such sweet messages. So good that you have them to cherish, read over & remember.Your angry and sadness is certainly VERY understandable!

    Reply

  3. Melinda
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 16:45:00

    Thanks for sharing these memories with us. I am glad you are thinking of these wonderful memories. Thinking of and praying for you. Love you lots,Love the three of us.

    Reply

  4. Anonymous
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 17:06:00

    This post was so touching and I can understand that your level of hurt and depth of loss is related to the amount of love you had for your husband and the love he gave you in return. . . . It is irreplaceable and you now have a whole where your beloved husband used to be.I pray that God would comfort you in every way in this time of loss and that you will feel His grace sustaining you in the years to come.Saying special prayers for you on this day especially.Gina, reader from AZ, USA.

    Reply

  5. Susanna
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 20:34:00

    Oh those beautiful words hurt my heart – they must do far more to yours. I can do nothing but pray and send love. I am so glad you have those words to read and remember.

    Reply

  6. Nicole
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 07:22:00

    as a simple human, I would be very angry, but not only towards God…

    Reply

  7. Chel
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 15:57:00

    Those messages are so sweet. It’s so great that you have them to treasure 🙂Much love at this time, Krisy.Love Chel

    Reply

  8. gilly
    Jan 14, 2009 @ 12:24:00

    This is no doubt a tough time for you. No words of mine, analogies, rhetoric or actions will be useful. I cannot relate to what it is like but Cathy and I are thinking of you and praying for you as are many others. Keep strong.

    Reply

  9. gram
    Jan 15, 2009 @ 11:11:00

    what beautiful words from steve. i am praying for you on this day – i am so sorry you have to experience this anniversary in this way. anger is appropriate. God can take it and soften it through time. until then, He understands and will wait patiently for your healing.

    Reply

  10. Lisa writes...
    Jan 15, 2009 @ 11:15:00

    I cannot imagine your pain. May the Lord continue to sustain you…

    Reply

  11. Anonymous
    Jan 15, 2009 @ 11:31:00

    Kristy, I think anger is a very appropriate response. As I thought about it, a story came to mind about a woman Elisha once helped. It’s found in II Kings 4:8-37. After gaining a son after years of barrenness, her son died. She then grabbed ahold of Elisha’s feet. Check out verse 27: “When she reached the man of God at the mountain, she took hold of his feet. Gehazi came over to push her away, but the man of God said, ‘Leave her alone! She is in bitter distress, but the LORD has hidden it from me and has not told me why.’ ” It was actually her response of anger that got Elisha’s attention and that ultimately led to a miracle that gave her new hope. Hang in there, girl; I’m praying for you. Jason

    Reply

  12. Rob and Amy
    Jan 16, 2009 @ 11:16:00

    I have no words, just tears. Praying for you….

    Reply

  13. Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 05:59:00

    Beautiful messages…praying for you today.

    Reply

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