Three Years, Emotional Triggers & Firsts

I never wrote a three year blog post. I obviously didn’t forget the day but, as Facebook followers would know, I was involved in a two-day trial that spanned the ‘sad-iversary’ dates.  That took every speck of energy we had available (and more). I remembered but was forced to focus elsewhere.

After three years, you think you’d be done with all the firsts, wouldn’t you? I certainly didn’t think I had any left! However, I was wrong…

My family came to stay with us over Easter. This is the first time they’ve been able to visit us in our home since my new husband and I got married last June. It was only in the week or so before they came that it dawned on me that the last time my family visited me for the first time in my new home as a newlywed over Easter, my husband died. I knew that was totally irrational and irrelevant but it didn’t stop fear knocking at the door!

I told my husband and he understood and prayed with me about it. He was also sensitive to what was going on over the weekend when Easter did come around. Usually, Easter doesn’t really bother me. The date of Steve’s death and Easter never match up and the actual date always comes first and is passed by the time Easter comes around. This year, I really struggled with fear over something bad happening…particularly that history might repeat, but I was geared up for anything bad. My yet-unborn-baby picked Good Friday to have a very quiet day (naturally) so I was freaking out over that inside too!!

I didn’t let this battle with fear rule me or stop me and we did enjoy having my family stay! There is no doubt, though, that I–and my family–were all relieved when the weekend passed without incident. Another first down, another fear beaten, another victory won…

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Elizabeth
    May 18, 2011 @ 16:50:07

    I so know what you mean, Kristy. You are not alone with having such fears. I get them too…I feel so silly sometimes! And yet, God is faithful aye, and I through it all He grows us and changes us! I must admit to having fears regarding hubby’s safety at the moment as the anniversary of his accident is approaching. I think it must have something to do with the fact that baby’s due date is approaching as well…. Thankfully it’s not all the time, but for me I’ll be glad when he’s on parental leave and he doesn’t have to bike for 2 months!!

    Reply

  2. Susanna
    May 18, 2011 @ 17:34:39

    Praise God for the victories and the battles fought and won xxxxx

    Reply

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