Something Other Than Books?!

It’s been a long time since I’ve really blogged. I mainly stopped because of things c0nnected to parenting a stepchild. There’s a lot of isses to consider that come with that. However, I discovered that a new friend is a blogger and reading through hers kind of wet my appetite to get back in. I don’t really even know where to start so leave some questions if you have an idea. 🙂

For starters…

We had our first wedding anniversary in June. I finally…FINALLY…made it to a first wedding anniversary. That was cool in itself. We very spontaneously ended up back spending the night in the country club where we got married–with a newborn in tow. 🙂 We spent most of Saturday and Sunday driving in order to stay overnight on the Saturday but it was really speial to be able to do that. The weather was beautiful for a day driving in the country so, for me, it was just nice to get out. We were very glad we took the risk! (And it was a risk because I hadn’t been comfortable driving in the car for even an hour since my Caesarean!!!)

One of my younger sisters got married in March and then one of my younger brothers got married in July. My brother married a Brazilian girl that he met when she was an exchange student out here. 🙂 I now have a married-to-my-brother sister-in-law and a sister-to-my-husband sister-in-law with the same name. 😛 My brother both got married and had his reception in the same place that Steve and I had our reception. Then I found out that the wedding coordinator for my wedding to Kallon had been transferred and was now the wedding coordinator at this other venue–she did my brother’s wedding, too! That was both bizarre and cool. I hadn’t been back there since my first wedding so that was a kind of weird feeling but not a problem.

My angel-baby has been rather challenging. She was easy-as for the first 6 weeks and I guess that’s when I really needed it. We have had a few issues to work through but love her to bits anyway. 🙂 I started off doing Babywise and it’s the one thing I wish most that I could change. Never again. She has also had a few issues with reflux and now colic but I know she could be a lot worse than she is so I’m grateful for that. Right at this very moment, she has been asleep for 3 hours (in the middle of the day) which has been rarer lately but makes so much difference for both of us. We are gradually figuring things out that help with her problems. That said, she is great at night and sometimes I prefer the night shift to the day shift!!! I have become a bit of an Ergo-wearer and even Kallon gets it on sometimes. 🙂 Katelyn smiles a lot and it’s absolutely beautiful. She started laughing yesterday and I can’t wait to see that grow! She has both smiled and laughed from a couple of weeks old (earliest I have ever seen in a baby for laughing) but yesterday was the first real time that you could say she knew what she was doing and was more than the “trying to” chuckle.

We have moved from the town we lived in when first married to a town about 40 mins away. Kallon’s mum and sister (and her boys) live here and we are loving it here. It wasn’t something we had planned but it definitely has been a good thing. We have no more moves planned for quite a while!!! Since we have bought this house, we should be good for a bit. 🙂

We have become part of an awesome country church. We felt really welcomed there from the first time we visited and are slowly starting to feel like we “belong”. There are lots of kids which is fantastic for Lukas and they are really intentional about the involvement of the kids in the church services and activities. They have a really great emphasis on Scripture memory too.

We are now 15-20 minutes from the beach which is the closest I have ever lived which is pretty cool. We are looking forward to taking advantage of that when the warmer weather comes, although we have been a couple of times through the year already!

For now, I think that’s about all that’s at the forefront of my mind. Comment away if you want something written about. 🙂

Bottom Line of “the Story”

So everybody has been wondering how my new husband and I met. How surprised would you (not) be if I told you we met online? Yep, we did. 🙂

We met online and started writing frequently. We also started interacting on Facebook and then texted a few times a couple of days before we met. We met in person at my favourite bookstore and had a great time. We kept the written communication going until we got to meet up again for a longer period after I moved and I met his son (and sister and cousin). We started going out shortly after that and I went over to scope out his world. Not long after that, we got engaged and then…we got married!

And here we are. 🙂

That is the bottom line and my story in a nutshell…but I will attempt to do better as a little more time goes on, I promise. 😉

In Honour of Valentine’s Day

Top Seven Things Women Think Are Romantic:

  • love notes
  • music mixes
  • flowers
  • surprise picnics
  • cuddling
  • dancing under the stars
  • shopping together

Top Seven Things Men Think Are Romantic:

  • seats on the 50-yard line 
  • a 1966 Mustang
  • an Xbox 360
  • power tools with a bow or ribbon
  • s*x (bow or ribbon optional)
  • baked goods
  • silence

–taken from Cupidity by Hayley & Michael DiMarco

LOL 🙂

It Would Have Been 2 Years

Today was my wedding anniversary. I've marked both of them alone. Such craziness isn't too common. I did really well till 8:30 tonight. But I'm just realising how much energy it took to keep that positive momentum going all day. Now, I'm exhausted and not doing so well. But still, I'm in such a better place than I was this time last year so I guess that counts for something…

I’d Rather the Awkwardness

For the first time since Steve died, when somebody asked me if I was married, I just said no.

I was telling my sister earlier that I hate the awkwardness it brings when somebody asks if I’m married and I tell them I’m widowed. She suggested I just answer those type of questions with a yes or a no.

So I tried it. And hated it. (Not that I’m blaming her!)

I was asked, “Are you married? Do you have kids?” I just said, “No.” The next question was, “No to one or no to both?” Me: “No to both.” They weren’t being nosy or unpleasant, just interested. I kind of felt like I was denying part of who I am. The response was, “Oh, so you’re not like your sister then!!”

Well, yes, I am actually. I’m a lot like her. I wanted to get married young and I wanted a big family. That’s never changed. I still wish I was married and I still want a bundle of kids. I just don’t control the universe. But I want to get into that conversation even less than just telling somebody I’m widowed and letting them feel awkward.

A comeback like hers just about did me in. I just said something like, “Oh, I tried…” and let the laughter over the previous comment cover most it. Instead of bolting. Which is what I really wanted to do. That and maybe be sick.

Next time…I’ll just let the other person deal with any awkwardness. Besides, they’re probably better equipped to deal with that than I am trying to suck up innocent but uninformed comments…

I Wouldn’t Miss the Dance

A friend told me about this song after my post this morning. I prefer it sung by Garth Brooks (who she knew it as) but I wanted a version with the music and the lyrics.

I don’t take the word “chance” in the same sense as “luck” but rather referring to my knowledge and/or ability to control. I don’t think our lives are left to chance. I’m not quite sure of the nitty-gritties of my theology on it anymore but I do still believe that God is in control of our lives–however that plays out, whether He directs all events or allows and uses them.

At any rate, it’s a beautiful song and it’s true. If we could see the future, often we would probably change it, but what else would we rob ourselves of in the meantime?

Missing Things

~My friend-around-the-corner has six kids. Hanging out with them is like when I was in my teens with six younger siblings…or visiting family and seeing siblings and niblings of all ages and descriptions…it feels so familiar. 🙂 Leaving their house tonight and coming home to my silent, dark, empty one was very lonely. I miss someone to come home to. I miss having family nearby, too.

~I spent a chunk of time this afternoon and this evening going through some of Steve's old papers. It was an informative and interesting read. There were lots of things to chuckle over and lots of things that I wish he was around to be able to tease about. 🙂 I miss being able to tell him all the things I know he would want to hear or teasing him about things I know he would think were funny.

~Yesterday, I moved a piece of furniture from one room to another that I shouldn't have. At least, I attempted to. I had to give up and "call a friend" (another single girl) for help. One GUY couldn't have done it alone so there's no way I should have tried. I paid for it in a painful way–and that's putting it mildly. It wasn't stubbornness…it was just being tired of feeling like I'm always asking for help or assistance, particularly at the moment. I'm not too proud to ask for help but I do hate to feel like I'm constantly adding to other people's workloads with a list that never ends. Absolutely anything I want to do that takes more than one set of hands (or involves mechanics or electronics) requires me interrupting someone else's life–and there's a lot that falls in that category. People don't complain and I do help others in return but still… I miss having muscles around the house, be it those of my dad and my brothers (growing up) or my husband.

On the positive side:

I'm grateful for the fact that the family likes me spending time with them…that I have memories of Steve…that my friend came when furniture needed unjamming…that one guy put air in my tyres before I left their home (after his wife fed me dinner and his three kids gave me hugs) and another hefted a heavy bag of salt into my water softener.

But I still miss Steve and being a couple and planning my own family.

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